An awkward introduction.

Well this was spontaneous! Though it probably wouldn't look that way to anybody trained in psycho analysis or faithful to determinism... The insight of such people might be useful now as i flounder trying to find a good starting point. There is a possibility that nobody but me will ever read this, and I am struggling to decide whether i find that disheartening or relieving. I'm trying to suppress the childish instinct to assert that 'I don't care if anybody reads this stupid thing anyway!' but my need to mention this speaks volumes about my level of success. An appeal to logic, which says that my profession of indifference would only be noticed if someone were actually to read this blog thus making it somewhat irrelevant, has not proved as soothing as I would have liked. 

I like logic, and I would dearly love to be able to call myself a logical person but, ironically, I simply can't find adequate justification to do so. I am nervous and embarrassed, having entered into a currently one sided conversation simultaneously with nobody and everybody. This is sort of like those awkward situations that arise when acquaintances throw around contemptibly vague invitations to social gatherings whose true nature is shrouded in such mystery that I usually daren't attend. I need details to dispel the nightmare that i will turn up in an elaborate evening gown to a house where a group of lifelong friends, only one of whom i vaguely know, are eating popcorn and watching a film in their pajamas! The social convention of 'offering out of politeness' must have done more to lower rates of acceptance than anything else! Unless of course most people do not go about their lives haunted by the suspicion that they have forced themselves upon society and are now merely being tolerated to avoid embarrassment. 

I suppose i have reached the point where I should publish this now. To extend my metaphor, I now stand poised before an unknown doorbell, hoping that whoever answers is also wearing 6 inch heels and dressed as a teenage mutant ninja turtle or, failing that, will at least be kind enough to discreetly take me aside and offer me a change of clothes.

Hello Anybody, a baggy old T-shirt will do just fine, thanks.

X